The Difference Between Hearing and Listening

Author Ali Soleymaniha is an expert in conflict management. Over the course of a decade, he’s watched people completely miss out on a key component of strong communication and more fulfilling relationships: Effective listening. Most people think they have a handle on it. They think they know the difference between what they thought they heard [...]

Timing is Everything When it Comes to Marriage Counseling

Marriage counseling isn’t magic. It’s hard work. It’s about a couple’s motivation and timing. Only time with a counselor will tell whether a couple has waited too long. Timing is a vital component in whether marriage counseling works. “Last resort” sessions don’t do much good. Dr. John Gottman, relationship and marriage expert, notes that most [...]

How Cheating Cheats the Cheater

It's only fair to share... When infidelity happens, we think if it as the person who had the affair cheated ON his or her partner. And of course that is true! However, I can show you how the cheater cheats him or herself. But firstly, ask yourself if you know someone who cheated who did [...]

Ashley Madison and Your Marriage

It's only fair to share... “Life is short. Have an affair.” This is the motto of the Ashley Madison site; a site where married partners can supposedly meet other married people discreetly and have an affair. Of course, as we have learned in the news, due to hacking as well as pure technology, there is [...]

Five Rules of Fidelity

It's only fair to share... I talk a lot about how to heal from infidelity and I have helped a lot of couples thrive after this interpersonal crisis. Having said that, being faithful to your spouse or committed partner has many advantages. These advantages include No guilt or anxiety about secrets It is easier to [...]

Why Women Cheat

It's only fair to share... I’ve been helping couples survive and thrive after infidelity for 30+ years in my practice. Over the years I have noticed that there is a difference between why women cheat and why men cheat. Watch the video below where I explain the three reasons why women cheat. I have one [...]

Facebook and Infidelity

It's only fair to share... I have come across several studies that say about 1 in 5 people flirt using Facebook. My practice is filled with couples that called me due to infidelity that started with social media. I love social media myself. It is good for my business and it is fun for personal [...]

Infidelity in Oklahoma City

According to the Huffington Post, Oklahoma City ranks in the top 5 cities with the most infidelity. Thanks to, a dating website for married people looking for an affair, we now have statistics on infidelity. According to Ashley Madison, Oklahoma City ranks #5 for “discreet encounters” among married people. The full article can be [...]

Communication in Relationships: Effective and Destructive

It's only fair to share... Effective: Clean communication- clean communication is when the only intent of your communication is to reveal something about yourself. Example: I am angry with you for getting defensive rather than listening. Destructive: Unclean communication- unclean communication is when you have other intentions such as punishing the other person defending yourself, [...]

Relationships are everything!

It's only fair to share... As you know, I am passionate and helping people in intimate relationships rediscover and increase their passion. Below are a few examples of what I do: I see couples in person and via Skype to help them overcome their barriers to nurturing, alive relationships I do teleseminars and occasion live [...]

Sexuality Through the Years

It's only fair to share... Sexuality is an important aspect for us throughout our lives. Watch this video to see how it evolves through the decades. I cover the transitions of life before kids, through kids, physiological changes, on up to maintaining a sexual connection with your partner past the 80s! I’ve included some tips [...]

Sex in the Older Years

It's only fair to share... If we take good care of ourselves, our sexual system can outlast just about every organ system we have. People have the opportunity to enjoy sexual pleasure well into their older years. Couples that have attended to their relationship through the years can enjoy lovemaking based on sexual and emotional [...]

Sexuality at Middle Age

It's only fair to share... Continuing the July theme of Sexuality Through the Years, this brief blog article discusses sexuality at middle age. Middle age is a pretty loose term. For most of us, it covers the time of having adolescent and young adult children, beginnings of perimenopause and menopause, and being empty nesters. Having [...]

The Top Myths About Relationships

There are myths in every aspect of sociology, but relationship myths take the cake with how many there are, and how wrong they can be. Here are five of the most common: Half of all marriages end in divorce. Not true. Yes, there may be half the number of divorces as there are marriages in [...]